145 * It Was A Dark And Stormy Night

On the last night of camp, Steve tells a scary story to the kids to make them sleep. At home, Nicky and Alex refuse to sleep in their new race car beds, and spend every night in Jesse and Becky's bed, exhausting them. Next day, as Joey makes a welcome home meal for the girls, a tired Jesse explain the fiasco. The girls return. Michelle asks Jesse to call her Trail Mix, and gives the twins lion masks she made, being their favorite animal. Stephanie is eager to write letters to the boys she met. D.J wants to call Steve, as it's the longest they have been apart. Danny is hurt when his daughters act like they didn't miss the family, as they head upstairs singing the Camp Lakota song. While unloading bags, Stephanie let D.J know her slippers are at the bottom of the lake, thus a fight. Michelle quickly tells them to stop scaring Gilbert, a rabbit she took home. Danny enters to collect laundry, noticing Gilbert. They explain he had a broken leg, but was nursed back to health and supposed to set free. Steve drives them back to Camp Lakota. They hit a thunderstorm and are forced into a cabin during a power outage. Even worse, Gilbert is gone and Steve's car is stuck in the mud. The thunder roars causes Michelle to freak out, thinking Steve's story is coming true. That night, Nicky and Alex still dislike their beds, so after Jesse and Becky fall asleep the twins hit the big bed. At Camp Lakota, Danny and Joey show up, all muddy. They have Gilbert with them, who was left at home. It's clear the camp is not the same. The power returns and the rain stops, as Michelle release Gilbert. At home that night, everyone enjoy hot s'mores as the girls admit they missed everyone a lot.

Script - Screencaps

 Episode Information: 

First shown: September 14, 1993 
Directed by: John Tracy 
Written by: Marc Warren & Dennis Rinsler
U.S viewers: 17.8 million

Guest Cast: 
Denise: Jurnee Smollett 
Terri: Sara Moonves
Danielle: Aimee Yamabe

 146 * The Apartment

Danny is surprised when D.J tells him that her classmate Kathy Santoni is pregnant. When D.J then says she's going to Steve's new apartment to hang out, Danny feels uncomfortable. He gives her permission to go only because Kimmy will be with her, but to be home by 11:00 pm. But circumstances prevent Kimmy from being there. Later, it is past midnight, and D.J is still not home. Danny calls Kimmy, who gives him Steve's address. A few minutes later, Danny knocks on the door, but there is no answer as Steve and D.J are asleep beside each other on the couch. By this time, she is two hours late. Even though they never did anything besides fall asleep, Danny bans D.J from Steve's apartment. Meanwhile, Michelle can't come up with a hobby for Hobby Day at school. She tries taking up collecting leaves, resulting in a mess in her and Stephanie's room. So Stephanie throws the hobby out the window. The next day, Jesse and Joey are cementing the driveway. When they realize that the rented truck is on the wrong side, they have to calculate how much time it takes for cement to dry. Steve comes over to talk to D.J and Danny starts following them around like a hawk in an attempt to make sure that they have no privacy. However, they catch him in the act and storm out to find another place. They are able to find privacy in the cement truck which Jesse and Joey rented. Without knowing it, D.J accidentally moves the lever that causes the truck to extend its flow chute through one of the kitchen windows, and cement starts pouring into the kitchen. Danny and D.J later have a much needed talk about her life as the young woman she is now.

Script - Screencaps

 Episode Information: 

First shown: September 21, 1993 
Directed by: John Tracy 
Written by: Tom Burkhard
U.S viewers: N/A

Guest Cast: 
N/A

 147 * Wrong-Way Tanner

Like Stephanie and D.J once did, Michelle becomes a member of a local soccer team, with Joey as the head coach. Michelle is however not the best player. In her first game, Michelle kicks the ball the wrong way and scores the winning goal for the opposing team, not realizing it's her own goalie, Derek. That makes her want to leave the team because she feels like she can't face her teammates, who chew her out about costing them a game. Joey feels that if Jesse and Danny had not put so much pressure on Michelle and made her so nervous, she would have felt more comfortable in the game and might have been less prone to mistakes. Meanwhile, Stephanie is filming the family as a school project. The title is originally 'A Day in the Life of the Tanners', but is eventually changed to 'You Can't Use That', as that's what every one of her subjects says when she films them. Among the events on the videotape are Joey talking to the soccer team in the living room, D.J's necklace becoming stuck in Steve's sweater, Becky singing 'Bad Boys' to Nicky and Alex, Jesse giving his hair a pep talk, Comet knocking Stephanie down, Danny kicking a soccer ball into Kimmy Gibbler's new Insect Inferno bug zapper, and Michelle scoring the goal for the opposing team. The guys try to cheer up Michelle and convince her to stay with the team. Joey reminds her that everyone gets embarrassed once in awhile, and the best thing she can do is laugh at herself. To prove this, Stephanie brings out her videotape project for her and the family to see. During the next game Michelle takes Joey's advice about laughing at herself by jokingly running the wrong way for the start of the game.

Script - Screencaps

 Episode Information: 

First shown: September 28, 1993 
Directed by: John Tracy 
Written by: Jamie Tatham & Chuck Tatham
U.S viewers: N/A

Guest Cast: 
Aaron: Miko Hughes 
Derek: Blake McIver Ewing

 148 * Tough Love

Three-year-old Nicky and Alex are having behavior issues that are affecting the lives of those who love them, and it gets out of hand when Becky and Jesse can't bring themselves to discipline them. It begins when they have a squirt gun battle in the backyard and won't listen when told that playtime's over. Joey and Danny both confirm the fears; They're out of control. And while Jesse and Becky say they do set limits, Danny disagrees. Next, when playing hide-and-seek, the boys hide in Stephanie and Michelle's room. When Michelle later enters her room, she sees them destroying her science project, which was a model of the Solar System. Jesse and Becky make Nicky and Alex apologize. Michelle is hesitant to accept the apology, but Danny assures her that it's better to be generous and forgiving. Jesse decides to help Michelle fix her science project, but not before fishing Joey's flushed watch out of the toilet. And the problems doesn't stop there. After the boys misbehave at dinner, that really is the last straw. Jesse agrees with Danny that the boys need some tough love, as he takes them upstairs for their first time-out, and Becky revokes their dessert privileges. However, Jesse feels guilty when the twins call him 'Mean Daddy'. Meanwhile, Vicky decides to cook dinner for the family for the first time. She makes spaghetti with pesto sauce and goat cheese pizza for everyone. Danny, who fears that the girls won't like Vicky's cooking, bribes Stephanie and Michelle into giving Vicky compliments at the dinner table. However, the girls reveal that they really like the food after all. That night, Jesse and Becky talk about how disciplinary they should be.

Script - Screencaps

 Episode Information: 

First shown: October 5, 1993 
Directed by: Joel Zwick 
Written by: Ellen Guylas
U.S viewers: N/A

Guest Cast: 
Vicky: Gail Edwards

 149 * Fast Friends

For two weeks, Stephanie has been in 6th grade at DiMaggio Junior High. Her old friends attend different schools because of redistricting, and she's desperate to make new friends. She finds an unexpected blessing in Mickey, a 7th grader who helps her adjust to school. But then Mickey's cigarette-smoking pals, led by Gia Mahan, want Stephanie to smoke with them. She refuses, doubting these girls are her kind of friends. Later, when home from school, Stephanie is upset to find Aaron and Michelle playing a card game that has abso- lutely no rules. When she makes a bad play, they call her out for cheating, which leads to an argument. Michelle tries to stop it, but to no avail, so Danny enters to calm all of them down. She heads downstairs to the kitchen for some book coloring with the twins. While coloring, she grabs a crayon and uses it as a pretend cigarette. Then, Becky comes home from the supermarket and has a talk with Stephanie about how miserable junior high can be, and she can talk about any issues. Jesse and Joey have a special segment on Rush Hour Renegades, where they have brought in D.J, Steve and Kimmy to talk to teenagers who call in to seek advice. While the teens take calls, Jesse and Joey argue over the title of the segment. It turns out, Stephanie is one of the callers, identifying herself as foreign student, Olga. That night, Danny realizes it was Stephanie on the radio. He tells her to trust her instincts, and that Mickey and her friends are probably feeling what she is. The next day, Mickey and her friends find Stephanie in the restroom. She refuses to smoke, and Mickey's own friends call her out for being friends with a scrub. Mickey decides to quit.

Script - Screencaps

 Episode Information: 

First shown: October 12, 1993 
Directed by: John Tracy 
Written by: Bob Sand
U.S viewers: N/A

Guest Cast: 
Mickey: Molly Morgan
Aaron: Miko Hughes
Gia: Marla Sokoloff 
Kelly: Diana Theodore
Lisa: Marie Lynn Wise
Randy: Darin Bennett

 150 * Smash Club: The Next Generation

Becky and Danny preview their upcoming Wake Up, San Francisco episode, feat. a 700-lb sumo wrestler who Danny will be going up against. Then, Joey and Jesse walk in with news of their own. Jesse is shocked and excited to discover he has inherited The Smash Club from Buzz Markel, according to his will. Jesse and the Rippers played there more than anyone. The place has been closed for a while, he will be the owner only if he can reopen the club. If not, it will be demolished. Later, Stephanie, D.J, Steve and Kimmy come home from school ready for the weekend, without any big plans. Jesse then decides to reopen the Smash Club as a place where anyone can come to hear cool new music from new bands, no age limit, no alcohol, a good dance floor and good food. Danny receives the sumo outfit, but finds it too small. Arriving home, complaining of the pain the wrestler gave him, he put a roast 'ice pack' on his back. Michelle turn Nicky and Alex into her personal servants. To clean her room, brush her hair and get her fruit. The boys then soak her with the hose outside. Becky tell the boys off and help Michelle realize that Nicky and Alex are people too, and should be treated with respect. Jesse and Joey head to the Smash Club, which is a mess. Jesse wants to clean it up so he can get the loan he needs. Eleanor Cook, an officer from the bank, shows up. After talking to Jesse, she believes he is unprepared and turns him down. Later, Jesse calls the bank and is given another chance. This time, he does his best to be prepared. After the second interview, he successfully gets the loan. Turns out Eleanor once worked at the club, and believe Jesse will take good care of it.

Script - Screencaps

 Episode Information: 

First shown: October 19, 1993 
Directed by: John Tracy 
Written by: Carolyn Omine
U.S viewers: N/A

Guest Cast: 
Claire: Alice Hirson 
Vanessa: Christie Claridge

 151 * High Anxiety

Danny forgets how fast Michelle's growing up, unintentionally treating her like a baby. She get upset, and he has to face reality though it hurts. Meanwhile, Jesse struggle on decisions for the Smash Club. Michelle's lost two teeth. She's doing homework in her room when D.J and Stephanie return from the mall. As the girls show what they got, Michelle longs to shop for her own clothes. Next day, Jesse is overwhelmed by everything for the club, escalating to where he can't even make the most minuscule decision. Everyone agree how important the color is, pointing out a coffee shop that closed. As the girls head to school, Danny tell Michelle why she can't buy lunch. She put her hat on Comet, forgetting her lunchbox. Jesse is looking at color samples with Nicky and Alex. They wait impatiently for him to read them a story, so he makes one up. The phone rings about bathroom fixtures. As Michelle grows more frustrated with Danny's over- bearingness, she finally snaps and angrily tell him off. Later, Danny talk to Vicky about the situation, and he has to let go. Jesse enters, showcasing cup possibilities. D.J informs him more samples arrived. The living room is filled with toilets of every design and color. Becky ask Jesse what his easiest decision was? To marry her. She tell him to pick the toilet that fits the feeling. Alex is ready to potty. That night, Danny tells Michelle he understands why she was upset. He realizes he has a hard time letting go, promising to treat her like a big girl. Next day, Michelle and her friends play frisbee. She volunteers to get a foul one, climbs up but freezes. Danny arrives and help her down. They decide to help each other on future big girl decisions.

Script - Screencaps

 Episode Information: 

First shown: October 26, 1993 
Directed by: John Tracy 
Written by: Tom Amundsen
U.S viewers: N/A

Guest Cast: 
Claire: Alice Hirson 
Vanessa: Christie Claridge

 152 * Another Opening, Another No Show

Jesse is ready to reopen The Smash Club, and Danny, Joey, Becky, D.J, Kimmy, Stephanie, and Michelle will be helping him at the club on this special night. Jesse is a bundle of raw nerves and wants nothing to go wrong, so he starts acting like a micro-manager, being cranky and bossy. Not unexpectedly, more things go wrong than right, especially when Jesse and Kimmy get locked in the Smash Club's storage room. When they try to open the door, the doorknob comes off in Kimmy's hand. Danny, Joey, Becky and the girls run The Smash Club the best they can with the absence of Jesse and Kimmy. Steve brings his foreign college friends along, Danny's coffeemaker gives him trouble, and Joey's comedy isn't making anyone laugh. With customers constantly complaining about the long wait for their orders, Becky rallies the troops, and has Stephanie and Michelle take Kimmy's place as D.J's co-waitresses. In the storage room, Kimmy and Jesse use every means to get help. While there, Kimmy notes that his remark about her 'clown-look' uniform really hurt her feelings. This makes him realize that if he wants to be a good boss, he should treat his employees better. By climbing out from the top, Jesse and Kimmy are able to free themselves. It's a fairly successful grand opening, with the help of a band made up of triplets Renee, Esther, and Martha (R.E.M.), as everyone still wonders where Jesse is. But wonder no more, as he enters on a disco ball from the ceiling. At home, Jesse apologizes for the way he treated everyone. Because of his attitude changes, it was a successful night that has tired everyone out - except for Danny, who's had too much coffe.

Script - Screencaps

 Episode Information: 

First shown: November 2, 1993 
Directed by: Joel Zwick 
Written by: Elias Davis & Tom Burkhard
U.S viewers: N/A

Guest Cast: 
Elliott Warner: Ben Stein 
Renee: Milly Del Rubio
Esther: Eadie Del Rubio
Martha: Elena Del Rubio
 

 153 * The Day Of The Rhino

Michelle and her friends are angry at their favorite TV character Rigby the Rhino. After seeing a commercial advertising a big, plush action Rigby, they all order one, but what they receive is hard and plastic. With the help of Joey, they try calling customer service without luck. Joey then remembers about Rigby's appearance at Bayview Mall. Stephanie and Joey take Denise, Michelle, and her other friends, along with their tiny plastic Rigbys and protest signs, to Bayview Mall, where Rigby is making an appearance. When they try to stop Rigby, a mall security officer stops them. However, Joey launches into a lecture to the officer about his rights to free speech and assembly. Back home, Joey explains to Michelle and Denise about how they managed to give their side of the story, even if they did not instantly get the Rigby they wanted. By them having their voices heard, they managed to stop Rigby's supporters from wasting money. Later, Rigby shows up at the house and apologizes, and he gives Michelle and Denise each a big, plush Rigby, and he even do the Rigby dance. Meanwhile, what is the right answer when a woman asks a question about how she looks? D.J asks Steve this question after she comes home with a bad hairdo. As Becky and Vicky try to fix D.J's hair, Danny and Jesse try to teach Steve some appropriate answers to D.J's question. Becky and Vicky decide to prove a point to D.J that guys will say anything. D.J seems reluctant to believe them. But it turns out that Steve, despite what Danny and Jesse taught him, knows exactly what to say to her, straight from his heart. That makes Danny and Jesse look like fools.

Script - Screencaps

 Episode Information: 

First shown: November 9, 1993 
Directed by: James O'Keefe 
Written by: Adam I. Lapidus
U.S viewers: N/A

Guest Cast: 
Vicky: Gail Edwards
Rigby: Erick Weiss
Denise: Jurnee Smollett
Security Guard: Gregg Binkley
Bodyguard: Rosey Brown
Goodnight Gir: Lora Rachel Davidson

 154 * The Prying Game

Steve pays a visit to the house, and gives Stephanie a note for D.J, which she has already accidentally read while going upstairs. As usual, Stephanie plays innocent. While at a local public library, Stephanie sees an attractive blonde-haired girl giving Steve a peck on the cheek. Stephanie does not want to say anything to D.J until she is sure that he is seeing another girl. Then, Stephanie and Kimmy break into Steve's apartment, so they can investigate. D.J and Steve show up, and it turns out that the girl who kissed Steve was his cousin, Edie, proving that Steve is not seeing someone else. D.J goes ballistic and tells a stunned Stephanie to stay out of her life. She feels that, by breaking into Steve's apartment, Stephanie has reached a new low. Realizing she has been shown the door, Stephanie leaves and goes home. Later, when D.J arrives home, Stephanie tries to talk to her and offers a bowl of fresh buttery popcorn as a truce. Seeing how upset D.J still is, and taking her word of getting out of her life, Stephanie puts the popcorn bowl down, before storming out and slamming the door behind her. D.J, who is already beginning to feel guilty, gets Stephanie to come back into the room and closes the door behind her, as they have a calmer-heads prevailing heart-to-heart. She understands that Stephanie was looking out for her because she loves her, and explains that she just wants her to stay out of her private life. Meanwhile, Danny and Joey talk Jesse into making an infomercial for his new hair care accessory, and the infomercial turns out to be a disaster, especially when they discover that someone else invented the item first.

Script - Screencaps

 Episode Information: 

First shown: November 16, 1993 
Directed by: John Tracy 
Written by: Ellen Guylas
U.S viewers: N/A

Guest Cast: 
Edie: Kristin Pearcey
Stage Manager: Jim Warren

 155 * The Bicycle Thief

During Stephanie's patience card demonstration, Michelle lets everyone know that she has lost her bike and assumes that someone has stolen it, so the family begins a search for it. Danny assigns Stephanie and D.J to the schoolyards, Jesse and Joey the video arcades and fast food joints, and Danny will travel on his own bike to the bike pads, while Michelle gets a lift in Jesse's car. Later on, Danny, Jesse, and Joey have each brought home three bicycles that looks a lot like Michelle's, as all three of them are pink and have baskets, but none of them are Michelle's bike. One belonged to Davey Schultz' who had borrowed it from his sister, the second to a girl who had parked her bike outside the library and the third was a bithday present. At the same time, the disappearances of the three bikes is being investigated by Crime Catchers, a neighborhood watch program led by Mrs. Carruthers, who is helped by Kimmy. With all three stolen bikes in the house and desperate to hide it from the Crime Catchers, everyone is eager to get the bikes out of the house to return them as quickly as possible without getting caught, which obviously causes some hillarious and confusing moments. During the search, Jesse is threatened when he meets Leonard Schultz, the tough-looking father of Davey Schultz, who is positive Jesse is the thief of his son's bike after seeing the matching Crime Catchers sketch. In the end it turns out that Michelle's bike was not stolen - she had simply forgotten that she left it at her friend Derek Boyd's house during a rainstorm. This makes Michelle realize that she should remember where she put her stuff from this point on.

Script - Screencaps

 Episode Information: 

First shown: November 23, 1993 
Directed by: John Tracy 
Written by: Chuck Tatham & Jamie Tatham
U.S viewers: N/A

Guest Cast: 
Mrs. Carruthers: Marcia Wallace
Leonard Schultz: Rick Zumwalt
Derek: Blake McIver Ewing
Davey Schultz: Ryan Sheets

 156 * Support Your Local Parents

Jesse and Becky join a local support group for parents of twins when three-year-old Nicky and Alex refuse to interact with other children in their playgroup, except for each other. It turns out they are given lots of great advice at the group. Such as emphasising seprate activities with each twin where they can meet other kids with common interests. This proves to be a great change for the boys. Jesse later admits that he did not want to acknowledge they had a problem because he was afraid that he may discover that he was somehow the cause of it. However, he was proven wrong at the support group. Meanwhile, Stephanie and Michelle decide that when D.J's out of her room, the open door means they can raid her closet, borrow her stuff and pretty much take advantage of her generosity to them. Danny's advice is that all the younger sisters need to do to borrow the older sister's stuff is to ask, while D.J needs to be more generous. Later, D.J gets a traffic ticket for vision obstruction when Kimmy decides to air out her socks by sticking her feet out the window. D.J wants to keep the ticket a secret from Danny because she is afraid he will never let her drive the car again. Her sisters use this information to their advantage and blackmail D.J into letting them borrow her clothes and other stuff, and Stephanie threatens to bring out the ticket if she refuse. When Danny finally catches on to what's been going on with the girls, D.J is forced to tellbhim about the ticket. As a result, for the next two weeks, D.J is only allowed to drive his car to take her sisters where they want to go. Stephanie thinks that is fair - until the two roommates are grounded for blackmailing D.J.

Script - Screencaps

 Episode Information: 

First shown: November 30, 1993 
Directed by: James O'Keefe 
Written by: Bob Sand
U.S viewers: 24.0

Guest Cast: 
Seth: Time Winters
Phil: Patrick Cronin
Linus Plankin: Justin Cooper
Phyllis: Nancy Charles

 157 * The Perfect Couple

Joey gets a job as the host of a local game show called The Perfect Couple. He insists that the family do the first show with him, having D.J and Steve as the dating couple, Jesse and Becky as the married couple, and Danny and Vicky as the engaged couple. Vicky is out of town and is unable to make the show with Danny, so Danny is paired up with the producer's assistant Estelle, who seems to know him all too well. The director of the show tells Joey to embarrass the contestants, and he does, much to the family's dismay. As a result, D.J. thinks that she and Steve don't know each other well enough. Jesse is bothered by the fact that Becky knows him inside and out. So, Danny and Estelle win the game by default. At the end of the show, Vicky shows up and tells Danny that her lifelong dream of being a network news anchor has come true - she has accepted a job in New York City. Danny is much more than a little disappointed - he was hopeful that he and Vicky could set a wedding date, but he doesn't want to stop Vicky's dream from coming true. Since he cannot take a long-distance relationship anymore, and the two break off their engagement and break up, although they still have feelings for each other. While everyone is out doing the show, Stephanie has her work cut out for her as she babysits Nicky and Alex. She has huge problems getting the twins under her control. Finally, she asks Michelle for help despite the fact that she is babysitting her as well, and Michelle agrees to help. The problem is quite simple - the boys refuse to put on their pajamas because they have the wrong colors, and Michelle knows which color each wears - red for Alex, blue for Nicky.

Script - Screencaps

 Episode Information: 

First shown: December 14, 1993 
Directed by: John Tracy 
Written by: Marc Warren & Dennis Rinsler
U.S viewers: 19.5

Guest Cast: 
Vicky: Gail Edwards
Estelle: Mary Gillis
T.V Producer: Bruce Jarchow

 158 * Is It True About Stephanie?

At school, Stephanie's is having trouble opening her locker. Her classmate, Jamie, who plays guitar in a band called Human Pudding, comes over to help and asks her on a date to The Smash Club, to which Stephanie excitedly agrees. However, it turns out that Gia likes Jamie too, and she is not about to let Stephanie have him that easily. Gia later comes over to the house and warns Stephanie to break the date, or she will make her life miserable. However, Stephanie stands her ground and refuses to break the date. Meanwhile, Danny is having problems adjusting to life without Vicky, and it is affecting the whole household. In an attempt to rectify the situation, he has rearranged every single room of the house, and have the family eat Japanese food seated on pillows instead of chairs. He eventually realizes that making changes in his life will not change the way he feel. Stephanie doesn't know how dirty Gia is willing to play. The next day, in order to make Jamie cancel his date with Stephanie, Gia spread a false rumor at school that Stephanie pay guys to date her. Jamie, who's been ragged on by the rumor, think it's a good idea to break the date. The next day, Stephanie gets even with Gia by hanging up a blow-up of Gia’s failing report card in the hallway. Jamie apologizes to Stephanie and says the date is back on. Gia enters, and angrily goes straight to her locker. Stephanie walks up to Gia, who turns around with tears on her face. Stephanie then feels guilty after she realizes that she really hurt Gia's feelings. At The Smash Club that night, Stephanie has a talk with Jesse about the situation. Stephanie and Gia talk it out and they finally become friends.

Script - Screencaps

 Episode Information: 

First shown: January 4, 1994 
Directed by: Joel Zwick 
Written by: Carolyn Omine
U.S viewers: 25.8

Guest Cast: 
Gia: Marla Sokoloff
Mickey: Molly Morgan
Jamie: Eric Lively
Scott: Justin Carmack

 159 * The Test

It is the day before D.J's SATs. Despite everyone saying 'It's no big deal, it's just a test', she is too nervous and worried about her chances of getting into Stanford. Danny urges everyone else to ease her fears, but it fails. That night, Kimmy is watching an episode of Wheel of Fortune when D.J turns off the TV, saying how badly she needs to study to raise her score. Meanwhile, as part of her school's 'Safety Week', Michelle goes overboard with her whistle as she 'reports' violations for safety, sleeping, and stupidity. Nicky and Alex join in as her deputies. When D.J goes to sleep after her all-nighter for the big test, she has horrible nightmares in which everything possible goes wrong; she oversleeps and is wearing her pajamas and pink bunny slippers, Ms. Twitchel, a mean neighbor, is the teacher, the test uses #4 pencils, Joey brings a typewriter-like device when D.J doesn't have a calculator, and Jesse steals the booklet with the correct answers which he gives her via a walkie-talkie that is stuffed in a breakfast burrito. Time is up before D.J can fill in her answer sheet when Danny and Becky come by to broadcast the test live on a very special Wake Up, San Francisco with Stephanie and the rest of the family as guests, and D.J fails the test. Kimmy gets a perfect score and wins a scholarship to Stanford University and the heart of Steve, D.J. gets every question wrong and wins a scholar- ship to Clown University. When D.J wakes up from this nightmare, Danny convinces her that she has nothing to worry about, and confess that when he took his SATs, he was a wreck but did fine. They hug. That day, her teacher turns out to be a much friendlier one named Mrs. Moffatt.

Script - Screencaps

 Episode Information: 

First shown: January 11, 1994 
Directed by: John Tracy 
Written by: Dan Chasin & Linda Lane
U.S viewers: 21.8

Guest Cast: 
Special Guest Star:
Vanna White as Herself & Mrs. Moffatt 
Ms. Twitchel: Beverly Archer
Boy Student: Jacob Kenner

 160 * Joey's Funny Valentine

After a couple of weeks of dating fellow stand-up comedian, Roxy Martin, Joey decides to introduce her to the family. However, she is nervous about meeting the family, and as a result, can't think of anything funny to say. After Roxy meets the family, Jesse schedules her to perform on comedy night at The Smash Club, where she adds insulting jokes about the family to her comedy routine, suggesting that Danny and Becky should call their show 'Go Back to Bed, San Francisco' and that there is no mute button for meeting them in person, comparing the girls to 'The Three Stooges in pantyhose' for their occasional fights, and even suggesting that Jesse's hair has enough oil to join OPEC, and that last summer's 'spill' was Jesse rinsing out his comb. Out of respect for Joey, they decide to grin and bear it. However, the family later tells Joey how disgusted they are with Roxy. To which he replies if they don't want to be around her, they're not going to be around him. The next day, as Nicky and Alex attempt to make animals with their Play-Doh, they chant that they want Joey to make animals noises with them. Jesse tries his hand, but it doesn't sit well with the boys. Joey enters and the family agree that if Roxy's important to him, she's important to them, and decide to give her another chance. Roxy comes over and she apologizes. Meanwhile, the girls discover a parrot named Little Sid perched in their bedroom after it flew in the open window. After returning him to his owner, Big Sid, they are given a choice of one store-item for free. This leads to arguments between the girls, as they each want different things. In the end the decisive vote is left up to Michelle.

Script - Screencaps

 Episode Information: 

First shown: January 25, 1994 
Directed by: John Tracy 
Written by: Adam I. Lapidus
U.S viewers: 25.3

Guest Cast: 
Roxy: Felicia Michaels 

 161 * The Last Dance

Jesse's beloved grandfather, Papouli, is back from Greece for another visit. The family finds it pleasant to have him around, and even more so when he help making dinner that night, even engaging in a flour-throwing celebration while yelling 'Opa!'. After, Papouli and Michelle is practicing a greek dance, and he promises to come and teach her class. Sadly, the next morning, Papouli has died in his sleep from heart failure. Everyone is devastated and in tears about the sad news while comforting each other. Jesse wishes he could have done something, but Becky assures him there was nothing he could have done. When Michelle arrives home from school and Honeybee meeting, she is told about Papouli's passing. Looking at everyone and realizing the situation, she storms off upstairs in tears. Jesse is the only person who can comfort her, though he is having an even harder time accepting Papouli's death. Upstairs, Michelle is crying on her bed, when Danny, and later Stephanie each have a heart-to-heart with her. After, Jesse ensures both girls are OK as Stephanie praises her sister for keeping it together. Meanwhile, D.J and Kimmy argue over a pair of sunglasses, but Papouli's death helps them realize that their friendship is too important to throw away. Danny impulsively buys a boat, with Papouli's name inscribed on the lifesaver. Later, Jesse gets a phone call that Michelle missed school. He locates her and they have a long heart-to-heart about how much they both miss Papouli, while they hug and cry at the same time. Jesse then takes Michelle to school. When trying to do the Greek dance Papouli promised, she is unable to remember a lot of it, but Jesse helps her out.

Script - Screencaps

 Episode Information: 

First shown: February 8, 1994 
Directed by: John Tracy 
Written by: Tom Amundsen
U.S viewers: 26.6

Guest Cast: 
Papouli: Jack Kruschen 
Denise: Jurnee Smollett
The Teacher: Kathryn Rossetter

 162 * Kissing Cousins

Jesse return home from Greece, where he attended Papouli's funeral, which was more like a celebration of his life. He has brought a surprise which turns out to be his look-alike cousin Stavros. What Jesse and the rest of the family doesn't know is that Stavros is a womanizing con artist. Stavros takes Stephanie and Michelle out to the race track, he drinks orange juice out of the carton, swindles Joey of his watch and $20 in a game of gin rummy, makes a pass at Becky, uses Danny's razor to shave, get a $65 ticket for parking next to a fire hydrant, and makes D.J pay for an awful goat cheese pizza. Initially, everyone decides to tough it out, as Stavros will be returning to Greece in a few days. Jesse then, unaware of what is going on, announces that Stavros may be moving in with them. This is met with mixed opinions. When everyone tries to inform Jesse who Stavros truly is, he refuses to believe them. Stavros overhears the meeting. Later, The Smash Club is the setting for Stavros' latest scam, as he want to raise money for his hometwon Polopolis's recovery from an alleged mudslide, using a dance-a-thon organized by the family. As he continues his get-rich-quick scheme, Michelle and Stephanie finds an envelope in his jacket with a plane ticket inside. Together with D.J and Becky they soon discovers that Stavros was lying all along, and is flying to Orlando that night. They agree that Jesse should know, and come up with a plan to prove that Stavros is a con artist, using an undercover sting in Jesse's office. What Stavros doesn't know is that a microphone is hidden in a vase of flowers, which catches him in the act, as everything is heard through the speakers.

Script - Screencaps

 Episode Information: 

First shown: February 15, 1994 
Directed by: John Tracy 
Written by: Tom Burkhard
U.S viewers: N/A

Guest Cast: 
Pizza Guy: Brad Joseph Dubin 
Dancing Partner: Madalyn Capone
Dancing Partner: Alicia Anne
Double for Mr. Stamos: David Dean
Cousin Stavros: John Stamos

 163 * Love On The Rocks

D.J feels that her relationship with Steve has drifted apart. While Steve is away in L.A for a film seminar, D.J explores all other options, before ultimately breaking up with him. She even tries mountain climbing on Eagle Mountain with Kimmy and her boyfriend. A few days later, Steve returns from L.A, and he thinks D.J is acting like she didn't miss him, causing an argument. That night, D.J tells Danny that it feels like she and Steve are not on the same wavelength anymore. The next day, D.J takes Steve to Eagle Mountain, where they have a long talk, and decide to break up because they are no longer as passionate about their relationship as they once were. Their relationship is indeed on the rocks, and is now more like a friendship, instead of a romance. They both think that the thought of breaking up is scary, but agree that if they do stay together they would miss out on incredible things. Afterwards, they decide to take the trail down. Steve goes off without D.J as she takes a moment to regather her thoughts and regain her composure. Meanwhile, the family is in a war against prank master Joey. He has pulled an early April fool's joke causing everyone to wake up at 5:00 a.m. They play a joke on him when they accidentally throw his $50 million winning lottery ticket into the burning fireplace. What Joey doesn't know is that they had taped the drawing from the week before, and swapped that winning ticket with his ticket. He notes that there was no tape in the machine, but it is yet another joke - as it turns out that there was indeed a tape in the VCR. But despite that, Joey gets drenched with water upon entering the kitchen, thus being dethroned.

Script - Screencaps

 Episode Information: 

First shown: March 1, 1994 
Directed by: Tom Rickard 
Written by: Ellen Guylas
U.S viewers: 22.9 million

Guest Cast: 
Special guest star: Suzanne Somers
Keanu: Brian Evans 

 164 * Michelle A La Carte

After being insulted by a neighborhood boy named Kenny, Michelle decides that she wants to enter the annual downhill derby championship, and enlist Becky to help her build the car. As they're working on her car, Kenny return to insult Michelle again, making comments about how girls should not be building cars and rather play with dolls. When Becky demonstrates the car and tries to prove otherwise, the left front wheel accidentally falls off. Due to both Kenny's, and later on Jesse and Danny's comments, Michelle feels like dropping out of the race. Elsewhere, D.J and Steve decide they want to give friendship a try following their recent breakup. Meanwhile, Stephanie gives Joey ballet lessons as a way to help him improve his skills in ice hockey. During the lessons, he ends up accidentally ripping his pants. Initially laughing at him for his wanting to learn ballet, Jesse and Danny apologize to him. Feeling guilty about what they had said, Jesse and Danny also apologize to Michelle before urging her to not give up. Becky reminds her that being a girl makes her special. She also adds that girls can be just as good mechanics and car-builder as guys. Michelle agrees as they hug, and they get to work on putting the finishing touches on her car. On the day of the race, Michelle has butterflies in her stomach as the rest of the family show up to support her. The elimination/ quarterfinal heats soon begin, and she makes it past that stage. She then makes it to the semifinals, and then the finals. In the final race, it's Michelle against Kenny, who has never lost a race. After a pep talk from the family, Michelle races past Kenny, and wins the championship 'by a rose'.

Script - Screencaps

 Episode Information: 

First shown: March 15, 1994 
Directed by: John Tracy 
Written by: Cathy Jung
U.S viewers: 22.3 million

Guest Cast: 
Denise: Jurnee Smollett 
Kenny: Evan Bonifant

 165 * Be Your Own Best Friend

During parent's volunteer day at school, Michelle is assigned a 'best friends' project where you have to draw the outline of your best friend on paper and talk a little about why that person is your best friend. She is very excited when her former best friend Teddy moves back to San Francisco from Texas and rejoins the class. However, Michelle is now faced with a dilemma, leaving her to choose between Denise (new best friend) and Teddy (old best friend), using their possessions to choose who will be her best friend. This naturally backfires when Teddy and Denise pick eachother as best friends, leaving Michelle out. In an effort to fix this, Danny explains to Michelle, Teddy and Denise that they are allowed to have two best friends if they choose to, leading him to use both Joey as his 'old best friend', and Jesse as his 'new best friend' as an example. He explains how both can be equally important. All three 7 year-olds decide to become best friends. Meanwhile, Jesse and Joey hit a snag while on air during The Rushour Renegade show, as Joey's girlfriend Roxy has returned for a line of comedy shows. Joey decides to take this time to advertise her shows, and he and Roxy end up flirting and hogging the mike for most of the radio show. Jesse, feeling jealous and left out, invites Becky down the next day for a little attention-seeking revenge. This quickly spins out of control into a childish game of extreme snarkyness. Luckily they work things out and apologize to each other. Also, Stephanie is campaigning for her dad to extend her curfew. And Steve and D.J have at last successfully returned each others' stuff after their breakup.

Script - Screencaps

 Episode Information: 

First shown: April 5, 1994 
Directed by: Joel Zwick 
Written by: Marc Warren & Dennis Rinsler
U.S viewers: 19.8 million

Guest Cast: 
Denise: Jurnee Smollett 
Teddy: Tahj Mowry
Miss Barnes: Kathryn Rossetter
Roxy: Felicia Michaels

 166 * A Date With Fate

For the first time since Danny and Vicky's breakup and D.J and Steve's breakup, Danny and D.J have both decided to get back into the dating pool. Stephanie has arranged a blind date for D.J, a guy named Roger, and Danny takes Becky's suggestion to date Wake up San Fransisco's TV camera operator, a woman named Leona. Meanwhile, Michelle is playing around with a Magic Cue Ball to help determine her future. Initially flanked by her sisters, she try to use the Magic Cue Ball to help determine if D.J's date will either be cute, have a good sense of humor, a good personality, or even all of them; Stephanie tells her former roommate that she'd better hope he's cute. Then Michelle asks the one magic question that this episode's all about: Will D.J and Danny have a fun time on their dates? To which the ball says 'It's absolutely certain'. Later, when Danny and D.J inadvertently show up to the same 80's themed restaurant with their dates, their partners soon hit it off and take off together, leaving a rather depressed twosome. However, the night turn itself around when D.J meet a friendly waiter, who just happens to be in her class, and the two decide to go to a party together. And helping an old lady in the restaurant pays off for Danny, who later goes rollerblading at Golden Gate Park with her lovely daughter Bernadette. At the same time, Steve shows up with his new date, Ada. After Danny and D.J comes home from their successful dates, they point out that they had a fun night because they decided to stop feeling sorry for themselves and take fate into their own hands, and not because the Magic Cue Ball said so.

Script - Screencaps

 Episode Information: 

First shown: May 3, 1994 
Directed by: Joel Zwick 
Written by: Marc Warren & Dennis Rinsler
U.S viewers: 16.7 million

Guest Cast: 
Roger: Rick Peters 
Leona: Kendra Booth
Arthur: Eddie Mills
Doris: Darlene Kardon
Bernadette: Robyn Donny
Waitress: Rosie Taravella
Ada: Lara Lyon

 167 * Too Little Richard Too Late

Michelle's favorite part of school, the arts program, has been discontinued because of budget cuts. At a PTA meeting that week, Danny and Joey stand up for the arts, explaining exactly how important art class is to the kids, and Danny nominates Joey for PTA president. The perpetually proclaimed president is Mrs. Carruthers. And although she has a huge crush on Joey, she does not intend to just give up the position without a good fight. Meanwhile, Jesse gets the whole family tickets to a Little Richard concert. Unfortunately, what he does not know is that Nicky and Alex are outside Stephanie and Michelle's room at the time of the announcement. As he helps D.J and the two current roommates fix Michelle's broken sock drawer, he puts his jacket on one of the chairs at the table. Unbeknownst to him, the boys are able to reach into the pocket, find the tickets, take them downstairs, cut them up, and use them as a part of their collage. However, all is not lost for Jesse. Denise Frazer's uncle comes over to pick her up - who just happens to be Little Richard, played by Richard himself. Michelle eagerly asks him to perform at Joey's PTA rally at the Smash Club that night, which he happily agrees to. However, he is significantly late on the big night, forcing the family to entertain in the the meantime. But when he finally shows up, it's a success. After the fun, Mrs. Carruthers announces that according to the rules that he has to be a student's parent, Joey can't be president of the PTA. But, after Joey gives an impassioned speech, she decides to offer him a position of co-president with her. And together they can bring back the arts program.

Script - Screencaps

 Episode Information: 

First shown: May 10, 1994 
Directed by: John Tracy 
Written by: Marc Warren & Dennis Rinsler
U.S viewers: 17.0 million

Guest Cast: 
Special Guest Star: Little Richard
Denise: Jurnee Smollett 
Mrs. Carruthers: Marcia Wallace
Derek: Blake McIver Ewing
Mrs. Yablonski: Barbara J. Rinsler
The Rippers

 168 * A House Divided

When the family starts complaining that there is not enough room in the house anymore, they consider finding other places to live. The problems ranges from Joey hogging the bathroom while D.J anxiously awaits taking a bath, to Michelle annoying Stephanie by playing her harmonica when she needs to study and Jesse complaining that Danny does everything without consulting him first. Suddenly millionaire industrialist Lou Bond shows up, wanting to buy the house from Danny, as he grew up in it. That night, Danny calls a family meeting. After a couple of complaints are raised, Danny brings up the main issue that Mr. Bond wants to buy the house from them. He even offers double of its current value, thus allowing the family to buy a bigger house in the same neighborhood without driving each other nuts. They realize this is the first time everyone has agreed on something, and the decision is final - they are all moving out. Everyone is happy with the fact - except for a very unhappy Michelle. She is the only one who is against the idea and will do anything to stop the sale from happening. She recruits her friends Denise and Teddy to come up with a plan to stop the sale. From Teddy squirting Bond with a water gun for the 'leaky roof', to Comet and his friends showing up in her room as the 'vermin', and slanting D.J's room for the 'broken foundation', Michelle's new plan seems to work. In the reality of giving up their house, they each reminisce about their own memories as they realize that it is much more than just a house - it is where their heart is. So, Danny changes his mind and decides not to sell. And Michelle reminds everyone that this is where they live.

Script - Screencaps

 Episode Information: 

First shown: May 17, 1994 
Directed by: Joel Zwick 
Written by: Marc Warren & Dennis Rinsler
U.S viewers: 16.3 million

Guest Cast: 
Denise: Jurnee Smollett
Teddy: Tahj Mowry
Lou Bond: Keene Curtis