D.J is coming down the stairs to the living room with baby Michelle in her arms. She walk towards the playpen and puts Michelle in it.
D.J: Now, Michelle, stay right here. Where you gonna go? You're in a baby jail.
Michelle grins.
Joey is coming out of his alcove wearing a Hawaiian shirt and multi colored tie.
Joey: I'm ready for Stephanie's recital. Do you think the shirt and tie go?
D.J: (not impressed) Well, I think the shirt and the tie should go.
Stephanie, who is in a ballerina tutu and head phones, dances into the living room from the kitchen.
Stephanie: One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four.
Joey: Stephanie, you've been rehearsing for three days straight. You're this close to ballerina burn out.
D.J & Joey: Stephanie
Stephanie continues dancing.
Joey: Stephanie
Stephanie continues dancing.
D.J & Joey: (remove Stephanie's head phones) Stephanie!
Stephanie: I am not Stephanie. I'm a swan who's about to kick the bucket (dances past Joey and collapses).
Joey: Oh, God. There's a dead swan in the living room
Stephanie: (rises) Joey... I'm alive. I was just acting.
Joey: (gasps) No! Get out of town. Unbelievable!
A car pulls up to the house.
Stephanie: Uh-oh. That's daddy. I don't want him to see me in my tutu until show time. YIKES! (runs through the kitchen).
Danny enters the house.
Danny: Sorry I'm late. I was editing my feature on Great Moments In Bowling, and I got held up when I couldn't find a second moment.
D.J: Oh, dad, after Stephanie's recital we hit the big sale at the Fashion Mart. Everything is half off.
Danny: Of course, that doesn't save me any money, 'cause you'll just buy twice as much stuff, right?
D.J: I like your attitude.
Danny: (laughs) Ha, ha, ha.
Jesse comes down the stairs in a tuxedo.
Jesse: It's Saturday afternoon. I'm all dressed up, and where am I going? A munchkin ballet.
D.J: Uncle Jesse, hot outfit. (pionts her thumb at Joey) Help Joey.
Jesse takes a look at Joey's clothes.
Jesse: (chuckles) Very sharp Joseph. Where you going after the ballet? Don Ho's wedding?
The doorbell rings. Danny answers. A blonde girl in a brown dress enters.
Adrianna: (Italian accent) Ciao.
Danny: Jesse, it's for you.
Joey: How do you know she's not here to see me?
Adrianna: Jesse!
Jesse: Adrianna, have mercy.
Adrianna: (runs to Jesse) Whoo! Huhu! Whoo!
Jesse: How are you?
Jesse and Adrianna kiss.
Adrianna: Mm.
Danny: (to Joey) If she's here to see you, she's very nice to your friends.
Jesse: Let me introduce you to my roommates. This is Danny Tanner, and this is King Kameahmeah. You guys will never guess where I met this girl.
Danny: A PTA meeting?
Jesse: Close. Skydiving.
Adrianna: (Italian accent) He missed the target, and dropped right into my Alpha Romeo.
Jesse: (mock Italian accent) 'Dropped right into my Alpha...' I love that! (normal voice) Anyway, she asked me to come back to her place, and it turned out her place was in Rome. Who would've known? Come on, I'll make you some Spaghetti-Os.
They enter the kitchen.
Joey: The guy is amazing. He takes off, just like that, goes to Rome, no toothbrush, no clean underwear. What a life! Now, that is my fantasy.
Danny: You fantasize about having bad breath and dirty underwear?
Michelle squeaks. Danny picks her up
Danny: Michelle! Hi Michelle. Oh, hi! Say dada. Say dada. Say da.. Say blah blah blah. She's so close. I can feel it. Say dada. Come on.
Joey: (munchkin voice) Dada, okay? Now get off my back.
The phone rings. Danny answers. D.J and Stephanie reenter the room. Stephanie is in a pink overcoat.
Danny: Hello. Really? The station wants me to cover the game of the week? That's great! (notices D.J and Stephanie) Um...no, that's not great. Look, my little girl is having her first ballet recital. Any chance Stanford and UCLA could delay the kickoff you know, like three, four hours? (chuckles nervously) Hey, I took a shot. Alright. Yeah, I'll be there. (hangs up the phone)
Stephanie: You're gonna miss my recital?
Danny: I'm really sorry, honey. I feel terrible
D.J: It's okay, dad, me and Stephanie understand you have to work. But it's great having your dad on TV, right Steph?
Stephanie: Yeah. That part's fun.
Danny: I guess this means we're gonna miss the big sale, too.
D.J: That's okay, we can go some other time, and pay full price.
Down in the basement Jesse and Adrianna are kissing. Joey enters.
Jesse: Can I help you?
Joey: I need to talk to you
Jesse: Go ahead, talk (continues kissing).
Joey: So here's what I'm thinkin'. I think I need to make some changes in my life.
Jesse: Bran. Eat more bran (continues kissing).
Joey: What I mean by change is.. more danger, more excitement, more Adrianna.
Jesse: I'll be right back.
Adrianna: And I'll be right here.
Jesse: Heh heh (motions to Joey) Come here, come here, come here. (they walk over to the other end of the garage) What do you want?
Joey: I want your life. Were you always like this?
Jesse: No, I wasn't always like this. I was like you. Then I turned four. I remember, man, my dad got me my first bike. Sailed into the driveway, I ripped off the training wheels, packed a bag, and took off to adventure. If my dad hadn't snagged me, I'd have made it all the way to the Dairy Queen.
Joey: See? I love that story. That's what I want. A life without training wheels.
Jesse: You know something, kid? I like you. (puts his arms around Joey as the walk) I think I could give you that life. But you gotta understand, when you're talking about a life like mine, you're talking about living on the edge, man. You're talking about taking risks. You're talking about... (looks at Joey) ..buying a new wardrobe. (grips Joey) Are you, Joseph Gladstone, ready to make that kind of commitment?
Joey: (grips Jesse) I am ready to be committed.
Later in the living room, Jesse and Adrianna are on the couch eating whip cream covered strawberries.
Jesse: This is how you do it, right?
Adrianna: Right. Uh-huh. (eats a strawberry) And now I get one.
Danny enters.
Danny: Jesse! Jesse!
Jesse: (annoyed voice) What could you possibly want?
Danny: How was Stephanie's recital?
Jesse: She came out, she danced, she died.
Danny: Oh God. I wish I could have been there. Alright, I rushed home, there's still time to take the girls shopping.
Jesse: Uh, don't worry about it, I already took care of it. I had to take Joey shopping, so I took the girls to the sale, saved you a few bucks.
Danny: (disappointed) Oh. That was nice of you.
Jesse: Hey girls! Come on downstairs and model your new clothes for your dad. Go!
Adrianna: Uh, Jesse, why don't I just wait for you back at the hotel? And I'll try on this cute little outfit you bought me. (waves a very small bag in front of Jesse) Bye (leaves).
Jesse: Have Mercy. (D.J is on the steps, motions to Jesse) Oh, you're going to love this (starts playing the organ). And now, the lovely Donna Joe. (D.J walks down the stairs in a brown jacket, red sweater, red hat, and brown pants). Donna Joe is sporting that lovely fall look. She's got a tomato-red hat for that tomato-head look. (spins around, removes the jacket) And hey, look at those shoulders, huh? Too much baby. Thank you, Donna Jo. (D.J swirves around while throwing her jacket on her shoulders and struts away). And now Stephanie (Stephanie walks down the stairs in a multi colored dress). The young Stephanie, just back from a show in Milan steps out in style in her multi colored print. (Stephanie spins once). She's a nice kid, but she's got a back problem. Thank you, Stephanie. (Stephanie keeps posing). Thank you, Stephanie. (Stephanie keeps posing). Thank you, Stephanie. (Jesse in a distinct voice). Thanks, Steph!
Stephanie: Ooh! (runs away).
Jesse: Oh, and now for the latest in the always exciting world of toddler fashion, the lovely, scintillating Michelle. (Danny puts Michelle down on the floor). Michelle is sporting a look that says 'Hey babe, it's the late 80s, and I'm loving every minute of it.' (Michelle runs across the floor) (To D.J) Grab her. (D.J picks her up and Jesse takes Michelle) Come here, you little weasel.
Danny: Looks like I missed out on a really special day. (sighs) My little girls, they're growing up so fast.
Jesse: (spits three times, and bangs on the organ keys) And now, taking a major fashion risk is the ultimate macho macho man, Big Joe Stud!
(Joey enters wearing leather pants, leather jacket and red shirt).
Danny: Joey!
Joey: Shut up, punk.
Danny: Joey, you know you actually make Michael Jackson look tough.
Jesse: Mm, Michelle.
Michelle: Eldo.
Jesse: You're gonna be such a fox when you get older.
Michelle: Dada.
Danny: Jesse, my little girl just called you dada.
Jesse: Oh no, no, she didn't call me dada. She called me, uh, she called me dodo. (turns Michelle to Danny). Well, here. Here's your dad. There. Lay a 'dada' on him. Come on.
Danny: (lean towards Michelle). Hi. Remember me? Remember? I'm your biological dada.
Jesse: Come on, you little muppet. Man, the guy's really asking for a 'dada'. Can't you give him a 'dada'? Come on. I'm your Uncle Jesse.
Michelle: Dada.
Jesse: I'm not your dad.
Joey: Here, give me the babe. (Joey takes Michelle).
Michelle: Dada.
Danny: Here. (takes Michelle) Hi. It's me, dada! Dada, dada, dada, dada. (Michelle is unphased). My sweet little baby, my own flesh and blood, thinks that you two are her father. Oh my God! My little baby doesn't have the foggiest idea who I am!
Joey: How many of us really know who we are?
Danny: This is all my fault. I'm working too many hours. I've got to spend more time with my children.
D.J and Stephanie come downstairs. Stephanie is in a blue shirt, and D.J is in a pink dress.
Stephanie: Uncle Jesse bought us these to go clubbing.
D.J: Can we keep them, dad?
Danny: Dad. (hands Michelle to Joey) She called me dad. Uh! (hugs D.J) Girls, I am taking all three of you out for father-daughter day.
Stephanie: Alright, daddy!
Danny: She called me daddy, too. (hugs Stephanie).
Later that night, Jesse and Joey drive into the garage on Jesse's motorcycle.
Jesse: Whoo! Prety darn exciting, huh? (Joey silenty nods) Want to jump thatfountain again? (Joey silently shakes his head). It's alright.
Jesse and Joey gets off the bike in sync together. Joey holds onto Jesse's waist.
Jesse: (removes Joey's helmet visor) Joseph, we're off the bike.
Joey: So, I should let go of you now?
Jesse: Either that or we have a lot of explaining to do to my parents. Get off! (rips Joeys hands of him). Phew! (closes the garage door). How'd you like that ride?
Joey: Jesse, it was a revelation. I saw God! In fact, I think you we lapped him.
Jesse: Alright, man, you got the look, you've got the feel, now all you gotta to do is get on a bike and ride to adventure.
Joey: Yeah, baby! I'm hell-bound! (jumps on Jesse's motorcycle).
Jesse: Whoa, whoa! You ain't hell bound on my bike. Nobody rides my bike but me. You need a bike? (takes Joey over to the girls bicycles) Take your pick. And if you miss that vroom sound, put some cards in the spokes.
Joey: You know what you are? You're a bike tease. (Jesse gets on his motorcycleto park it) You get a guy all fired up, but then you say 'uh-uh, no'. Well, I want danger, I want adventure, I want to ride your pig.
Jesse: (walks over to Joey) That's hog. Alright, Joey. Once around the block. Go ahead. (Joey gets on the motorcycle). Now, listen, you be very, very careful. You hear me? (Joey starts the motorcycle). I can't watch this (starts to leave as Joey is about to drive trough the garage door). Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Hold it!
Joey: (opens his visor) What's your problem, dude?
Jesse: You got to open the garage door, dude.
Joey: Radical.
Jesse closes Joey's visor.
The next day, Danny is in Stephanie and D.J's room at the base of Stephanie's bed with a video camera.
Stephanie: (sleepy) Daddy, why are you making feet movies?
Danny: Because I love you, and I love your little feet.
D.J: (sleepy) What's going on?
Stephanie: Daddy loves me and he loves my little feet.
Danny: I want to preserve every minute of your lives.
D.J: I'm gonna go brush my teeth. Do you want to reload?
Danny: Wait a minute, D.J. Girls, I have a surprise for you. I am not going to work today. Today is father-daughter day, part two.
D.J & Stephanie: Yay!
D.J: Wait a minute, dad. How can you do this? Sunday's your busiest day.
Danny: I worked it out. I'm working New Year's Eve, but I worked it out. This is your day. We can do whatever you want to do. What do you want to do?
D.J: Can we... take a cruise around the bay?
Danny: It's your day.
Stephanie: Then can we go horseback riding?
Danny: It's your day.
D.J: Then can we buy a big-screen TV, a CD player, and a couple of mopeds?
Danny: Why don't I just get you your own MasterCard?
D.J: Ooh, it is my day.
Switch to downstairs. The phone rings and Jesse answers.
Jesse: Hello. Joey! You've been gone since yesterday! You get your butt back here right now... 'Chill out, babe'? ... Listen you little leather-clad weasel. I created you, I can destroy you. Hello? He... (puts down the phone) I never taught him 'chill out'.
Later that night, Joey enters the garage on Jesse's motorcycle.
Joey: Shh! Safe.
Jesse: (behind a card board Santa Claus on a candy cane) 'Ho, ho, ho'. (steps out in front) It's your last Christmas. Tell Santa what kind of tombstone you want.
Joey: Jesse!
Jesse: I said 'once around the block'! 'Once around the block'! Where were you?
Joey: Jesse, I can explain everything.
Jesse: Once. Do you know what 'once' means? Do you know what 'once' means?
Danny enters with the girls.
Joey: Hi girls.
Jesse: Oh, yeah, like that old trick's supposed to work.
D.J: Hi, Uncle Jesse.
Stephanie: Hi, Joey.
Jesse: (surprised) (laughs) Hi, girls, how are you? I was just welcoming home Joseph.
Danny: Girls, let's give the boys a moment to get reacquainted.
D.J & Stephanie: (walk passed Jesse and Joey) Ooh.
Danny: (with Michelle, walks passed Jesse and Joey) Ooh.
Jesse: Alright, speak geek. And you better have one hell of a story.
Joey: (removes helmet) Jesse, as soon as I left the driveway your spirit entered my body. I knew that it was your spirit because my hair expanded.
Jesse: Alright, alright, quit suckin' up and tell the story.
Joey: Then she appeared. Five eleven, dressed from head to toe in red leather.
Jesse: And what did my spirit tell you to do?
Joey: I threw the babe on the back of the bike, popped a wheelie, and said 'have mercy'.
Jesse: Now, that's my spirit. That's my spirit, see?
Joey: Then we cruised into Vegas. Checked into Caesar's. Hit the craps tables. Hour and a half later, I'm up $14,000.
Jesse: Fourteen thousand dollars. That's a lot of money. And you have a pretty girl... did you, uh, you know?
Joey: Yep. Got married. Then it got interesting.
Jesse: Oh.
Joey: We hopped on a jet for the Big Apple.
Jesse: Uh-huh.
Joey: Helicoptered into Manhattan...
Jesse: Very nice.
Joey: ...where we quickly produced a revival of the Broadway smash 'Porgie and Bess'.
Jesse: Mmm.
Joey: You don't believe a word of this, do you?
Jesse: (shakes his head) Not a syllable.
Joey: Well, let's give the truth a whirl.
Jesse: Okay.
Joey: I met a girl who lives just down the street. Um, she wasn't dressed in red leather. She had a nice wallet. So we went to her place, uh, where I did win $14,000... (Jesse steps forward)... in Monopoly money (Jesse thows his hand up and backs away). Then I fell asleep on her couch. You believe that, don't you?
Jesse: (walks to the motorcycle) Yeah. I have to. You put a mile and a half on the bike (laughs).
Joey: Jesse, I'm sorry I was gone so long. Hope I didn't let you down.
Jesse: Aw, you didn't let me down. Now, maybe you didn't have a wild and crazy adventure, but you had a cute little... adventure-ette.
Joey: You know what I found out?
Jesse: Mmm.
Joey: No matter what I wear or what I am riding on, I'm still gonna be Joey. And you know something? That's okay.
Jesse: You're damn right it's okay (pats Joey on the face). Alright, Big Joe Stud.
Joey: Yeah, I guess I am pretty studly. (pushes Jesse aside as he walks across the garage) Okay, out of my way dude. Going upstairs to take a bubble bath. (flips his hair walk upstairs).
Jesse laughs and shakes his head.
That night Danny, D.J, and Stephanie are in the girls' room. D.J and Stephanie are in bed.
Danny is tucking Stephanie in.
Stephanie: Daddy, I love father-daughter day.
Danny: Me too, sweetheart. But tomorrow it's back to the real world. I go back to work and you girls go to school.
Stephanie: Ah, fudge.
Danny: (kisses Stephanie on the head) Goodnight.
Stephanie: Goodnight.
Danny walks over to D.J's bed.
Danny: Great day, huh, Deej?
D.J: Yeah, major fun. It was one of the best days of my life.
Danny: You don't sound all that happy.
D.J: I'm happy, honest. (Smiles and points to her teeth) See? These are happy teeth.
Danny: I've known that face since it was the size of a tennis ball. (points at her) That is not a D.J happy face.
D.J: Dad, for the last time, I'm happy. Happy, happy, happy, okay? (gets out of bed and opens the closet door).
Danny: Okay. (walks to Stephanie's bed) Uh, Steph? Honey, I'll bet you want to get yourself a glass of water.
Stephanie: I'm not dumb. You want me to leave. Something's wrong.
Danny: Sweetie, I promise if something's wrong, we'll make it all better.
Stephanie: Alright (gets out of bed). But if you need me, I'll be in the bathroom drinking water and waiting (leaves).
Danny: (walks to D.J by sthe closet and sits on her bed) D.J? What's going on here? You don't have to put on a happy act for me.
D.J: It wasn't for you, it was for Stephanie. (walks to her bed).
Danny: Well, Stephanie's not here honey. What's going on?
D.J: (upset tone) It's just hard being brave for my little sister all the time. Like when you couldn't take me shopping, I felt terrible. But I couldn't show it, because if I did, Stephanie would cry about you missing her recital.
Danny: (flips his legs to the other side of D.J's bed) D.J, you are a terrific big sister, (puts D.J on his lap) but no one has to put on an act in this house. Now, what's bothering you?
D.J: I don't know. Today was so much fun. You took us horseback riding, to the circus, to Marine World, but I kept getting sadder and sadder.
Danny: (joking) What part depressed you the most? The circus clowns or Shamu?
D.J gets in her bed and Danny gets up.
Danny: (sits back on D.J's bed) Honey, maybe you were sad for the same reason I was.
D.J: You were sad, too?
Danny: A little bit. Because the more fun we had, the more I hated to see it end.
D.J: I wish we could have days like this all the time. I really love being with you.
Danny: (sighs) I love being with you, too. But there is no easy answer here.
D.J: I know you have to work.
Danny: I wish I could be in two places at once, but I can't.
Danny and D.J hugs.
D.J: You know, I feel better.
Danny: You do?
D.J: Yeah, we didn't solve anything, but just talking about it helps.
Danny: It helps me, too. And, D.J, I promise, I'm gonna find more time to spend with you girls.
D.J: And any time you want to see me, you can always pull me out of school. Especially if you want to see me during math class.
Danny and D.J laughs.
Danny: Now that's a D.J happy face. Uh, come here, you little tennis-ball head
They hug.
Danny enters Michelle's room.
Danny: Hi honey. You may not remember today, but it was one of the best days of my life. (kisses Michelle) I love you Michelle. Good night sweetheart. (leaves and closes the door).
Michelle: Dada.
Danny: (reenters) Yeah!
*** The End ***
